lifelong+hidings+she+has+had+to+bear.

At the end of the poem the mother feels pain because of what she did. She will remember what she did to her son her whole life. It may haunt her but it after something is done it can't be taken back. Regret is the type of pain she feels. Even if you try to hide or forget it you might never be able to. You must be careful of what you do because you may have life long burdens you have to bear.